Joan Didion Analysis Essay

In Joan Didions memoir, she outlines the events of a painfully tragic experience in her life. She takes the contri exceptor with her dismal statuss of embarrassment, uneasiness, and eventual enlightenment. Didion explains how her deformed view on gravitas from her childhood is morphed into lifes humanity when she is non accepted into Phi of import Kappa. Strong comparisons and distinct diction engulfs the reader and leads them through a journey in Didions life. The text begins with Didion scribbling in her diary, presumably in an upset mood judging by the tidy print she used to create a dramatic effect.I wrote in large letters across two pages of a nonebook that naturalness ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself. This dramatic statement straight off hooks the reader, causing them to wonder what horrific event resulted in Didions definite state of agitation. A shift occurs as Didion begins to recall, some days later, on her foolish and naive tho ught process. Didion expresses her chagrin feeling as she claims, I recall with embarrassing clarity the flavor of those particular ashes.It was a matter of misplaced self-respect. In this statement Didion refers to her documentations in her diary as ashes signifying the lack of reality they held. Due to Didions crooked view on self-respect she is stripped of her ability to pledge in Phi Beta Kappa. In the following paragraph Didion explains that it was quite obvious why she did non hurt elected into Phi Beta Kappa. She was not the academic Raskolnikov she had dreamt herself to be she simply did not have the grades.But this still left her unsettled. Although not getting into Phi Beta Kappa was hardly a tragedy, it was still the end of something for Didion and she states The day I did not get into Phi Beta Kappa nonetheless marked the end of something and innocence may well be the word for it. Didion then comes to numerous realizations due to the unreasonable realities her chil dhood consisted of. For example, she loses the firm belief that lights would always turn green importation she will no longer always get her way.The idea that the virtues instilled from her reproduction could give her not only Phi Beta Kappa Keys but happiness, honor, and the love of a beloved man was no longer practical. And she began to realize that the social standards of good manners, clean hair, and proven competence on the Stanford-Binet scale, which her self-respect museed upon, were not all that mattered. In the concluding sentence to this paragraph Didion states, I face up myself that day with the nonplussed apprehension of someone who has come across a vampire and has no crucifix in hand. This represents the feeling of uneasiness Didion portrays as she realizes she is defenseless against the fact that her innocence could no longer carry her through life. In the final paragraph Didion admits that To be driven back upon oneself is precarious but It is the one condition necessary to the new beginnings of self-respect. This statement exemplifies the attitude of enlightenment Didion began to feel. It shows that coming to terms with the person you really are is difficult, but it is crucial when trying to obtain true self-respect.In conclusion, Didion realizes that her marked cards cannot carry her though life. Didion is reviewing the actions in her past that were reflections of her misplaced self-respect. She cannot carry more or less her false credentials in hope to gain respect from others. after(prenominal) looking back on the falsely identified tragedy that changed her life, Didion understands that self-respect has nothing to do with the people you surround yourself with. Who you are does not reflect upon your past, or your reputation, but upon your present self. And the courage you project.